Slacker!!!

I've been a bit slack haven't I?

But, honesty, I told you Perth has extreme temperatures. It was a really long hot summer  At six in the morning the temperature was tipping 35 degrees! And I'm not exaggerating. Well maybe I am but it was hot. Just ask anyone. I couldn't possible go out and train in such hot conditions. I'm not built for that kind of punishment.

 It has only just started to cool down and it is Easter. So, after eating twenty hot cross buns and about fifty Easter eggs I waddled over to the wall calendar, stopping for  breath on the way, and calculated how long I have left to train until the half marathon.

Nineteen weeks.

Nineteen weeks to get this sorry state of a body into some sort of shape that will allow it to shuffle continuously for twenty one kilometres. What am I going to do?

 I drank a bottle of wine for inspiration and decided there and then not to drink a bottle of wine on my own again, at least not until after I complete the marathon. I briefly contemplated joining one of those outdoor yell at me exercise classes to help me get fit quickly,  but that requires money exchanging hands and as I have no money, it just isn't an option.

No, I have to this on my own within a budget of zero dollars. I have a plan.

Step one is to take two headache tablets,  go to bed, and think about the next step tomorrow...

One step up at a time

I am a half marathon woman on a budget true to my word. I have commenced the ascent to the fitness peak. It is my day off so what better time to start. After a quick darning job to rejoin the seams of my running pants I was ready to re-embrace the world of exercise and partial fitness.

 I live in Perth where extreme temperatures commence well before the official start of summer so an early morning jog before the sun cooks up some more melanomas is the only sensible time to go. I’m still fearful of being swooped by territorial magpies so I chose a coastal path- less big trees for them to hide in, and I only need to dodge big men on small bikes, and women sporting ear plugs who insist on walking in the middle of the path. Gotta love Perth people.

I managed about 5kms this morning, not up to my performance from two years back, but a reasonable effort. I also included  some random exercises using the resources provided by the community. Coastal path bench seats are very handy to sit on – but I didn't sit –  said bench seat became my exercise equipment of choice. I used it to stretch on and to rest my feet on while I did sit ups and what I think were leg raises. I used it as a stepper managing 50 step ups on each leg. I felt a bit rude though because this bench had a plaque on it dedicated to someone who used to sit on it a lot and take in the view. I felt like I was stepping on their memories, over and over and over again. On my way back home I did some calf stretches on a set of stairs, patted an over friendly dog who was quite taken with my newly sewn sweaty crotch seam, and felt like I’d achieved something for the day - and all for free. I didn't have to pay anyone to yell at me in a public park or pay to wipe someone else's sweat off a communal exercise machine. How refreshing.

One day closer to completing a half marathon and I'm well within budget.

The Magpie Season is Over

The magpie season is almost over – it is time to get into action. I don’t want anything interfering with my latest plan – to complete a half marathon, because I am…..The Half Marathon Woman!

That was a post from two years ago. Unfortunately I  interfered with my own plan. Now, two years on, the  magpie season is, again, almost over, but this time I'm really, really going to complete a half marathon. Why now? Well,  I know I’m not getting any younger and I know I haven’t really done much with my life and I know I’m really stacking on the kilos. So it seems like this is as good a time as any to follow through with a life changing, well at least figure changing, commitment.

I don’t quite have the eye of the tiger, (more like the eyes of the panda after a big night out), but something is itching these loins : a bad case of chaffing actually because, as I said,  I've really stacked on the kilos.  Of course financially I am still claiming to be queen of the lower middle class working poor, so joining gyms, exercise classes or paying for boot camp yellathons is out of the question.  So I am....The Half Marathon Woman on a Budget! Getting thinner thighs on the cheap, that’s me. This is my story. 

This isn't me right now, but it might be in a year or so - but I will have a head